whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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