You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize