Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
