New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
