There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
