if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
