Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
