Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
