WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize