all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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