We're like a lot better than the average bears
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
