is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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