i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
