i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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