is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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