i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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