That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
