I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im drinking this country out of the recession.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
