my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
