According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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