my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
