just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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