so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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