Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Be still, my beating vagina.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I deserve this hangover.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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