i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
