what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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