You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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