dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
