I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
