I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
