i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize