they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
