Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
