Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
