so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize