I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
