She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
