Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
