What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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