I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
