Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
