I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
