no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
It was confusing and full of hummus
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
