these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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