This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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