I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there was a trapeze. enough said
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
