addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
