nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh god the rape fog is back!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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