You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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