Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
