i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
