Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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