friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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