why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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