I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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