Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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