When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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