As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
