Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize