We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
