Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
