just come out here and I will go home with you...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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